One of the challenges family caregivers face is realizing that they can't keep a promise they made to a parent. You promised your mom that if she ever needed long-term care, you'd be her caregiver. However, you're facing health or work issues of your own and can't keep that promise.
You feel like a failure. The reality is that things happen, and it doesn't make you a failure at all. You can still help her by making sure she has the care and support she needs. These are the steps to take.
Spend a Day With Your Mom
Arrange a full day where you'll watch your mom. See what she's able to do on her own and where she asks you for help. When she asks you to help out, take a note of those chores as they're the areas where your mom needs assistance.
Some of the areas you want to watch closely include what she makes for meals and how often she's snacking or eating foods that have little nutritional value. If she's relying heavily on frozen pizzas, granola bars, and flavored yogurts, they're high in sugar, saturated fat, and processed carbs that aren't the best options.
You want to see if she's able to do chores like vacuum the stairs and carpets. If her vacuum is heavier or she trips on the cord, it's time to address the need for help with housekeeping. Does she change her sheets regularly? How often does she do her laundry?
Take her shopping. Does she buy items she doesn't need? Is she spending more than she should? She may need help building shopping lists and purchasing ingredients.
Is she taking medications each day? Pay attention to when she takes them. If she forgets about them and realizes hours later that she missed a dose, it may be time to set up a system that reminds her. Medication reminders from a person may be the most effective.
Figure Out What You Can Manage
Now that you have a better picture of your mom's care needs, look over the list. How many of those tasks can you help her do without impacting your needs? If she needs someone cooking meals each day, it's not practical to be the one doing this when you have a full-time job.
Other family members may be available to fill in gaps. Work together to build a weekly schedule where your mom has others helping out. When you're done, see if there are days and times when no one is available. Those days and times are when you want to hire in-home care aides.
Arrange In-Home Care
Once you've gone over the tasks your mom can and cannot do independently, make a list of the services you feel would benefit her. From there, call a home care agency and talk to an expert about scheduling and pricing.
You'll go over your mom's daily routine, the things you've noticed she can and cannot do, and create a care plan together. After this discussion, you'll book services.
With in-home care services, your mom has the support she needs and you've ensured it happens. Call or email a home care specialist to learn more about pricing and arranging in-home care services.
IF YOU OR AN AGING LOVED ONE IS CONSIDERING HIRING IN-HOME CARE IN CAMPBELL, CA, PLEASE CONTACT THE CARING STAFF AT HOME HELPERS TODAY (408) 317-4969.
