As a caregiver you observe your patient performing the few tasks they remain capable of on a daily basis. For the immobile or bedridden these tasks may be few and engulfed in reams of disappointment and frustration. Despite the imperfect activity or inactivity observed, unless a chronic mental illness prevents it, these patients too make New Year’s Resolutions. Caregivers busy with feeding, bathing and toileting can overlook basic emotional and psychological needs. Researchers have found everyone, even those requiring assistance to live each day, and those dying from a chronic illness make New Year’s Resolutions.
Many gather with family, friends, neighbors or co-workers and discuss resolutions for the upcoming years yet fail to include the patient they are caring for. What resolution can a mentally ill, immobile or bedridden patient make? Researchers have found “to be kinder” tops the list of resolutions these patients make. Because they hear cruel words meant for the ears of others, are forbidden from participating in events, are denigrated, faulted or subject to hurtful or harmful actions, “to forgive” comes in second on the list of resolutions. Even patients in the early stages of dementia and schizophrenic experience periods of knowing or sensing how they are being treated. As the disease progresses this can change, however expectations of the progression of their disease leads many to a New Year’s Resolution, “to forgive”.
As expected many patients desire change; in diagnosis, in living conditions, in caregivers, financially and socially. These patients resolve to “let go” having faulted and blamed others for their illness. They blame doctors, employers, family, governments and the environment. Their New Year’s Resolution is to “let go of the guilt”, “stop playing the blame game”, and for others “to accept the condition they find themselves in”. Other resolutions can range from becoming more involved in medical decisions to listening and responding to caregivers, and to finally writing a will.
Patient’s suffering from chronic pain want to be better communicators, they want to be more patient with those who don’t understand their pain. Patients suffering from depression want to be more “mindful” of those exposed to their episodes; and patients diagnosed with chronic physical disabilities want to be more “thankful” to those who support them, and more cognizant of the lifestyle changes caregivers are forced to make.
Wikipedia defines resolution as: “…. A tradition in which a person resolves to change an undesired trait or behavior, to accomplish a personal goal, or otherwise improve their life.” Based on the scientific findings of researchers, for the sick, the bedridden, the immobile, the mentally and physically ill, we can add “to improve the life of others” – for in each of the reported resolutions, these patients were thinking more about their caregivers and family than about themselves.
One area I failed to discuss was the New Years Resolution, “to die”. Researchers found this to rank in the top two for dementia patients (who were aware of their dementia), and patients homebound due to chronic pain. Though the finding was less than 3%, they believed the number to be much higher – primarily based on the increase in the number of people requesting assisted suicide. However, “evidence suggests that some people rescind their requests for assisted dying when they receive palliative and comprehensive care.”
Talk to your patient and ask, “What are your New Year’s Resolutions?” You might be surprised at the responses you get. Despite all the love caregivers and family have for one another, sometimes a reminder is needed – regardless of physical and psychological diagnoses, “patients are people too.”
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